Angel, Disturbed

---

I'm going to kill myself.

A cliché. A tired expression reserved for the genuinely depressed and the unnecessarily emo. But I slowly came to the conclusion during the long, solitary flight from Xurmaith into the Sol System. Space is big. It's dark. And it's quiet. Very, very quiet. And that quiet has a tendency to make one think. A lot. And unfortunately for myself, there was one thing that weighed heavier on my mind than anything else.

Joel Diablo, my evil twin--in a very literal sense; alike in every aspect, save for the red horns that protruded from his forehead and a severe sadistic streak. I calculated all the troubles my newfound friends and I had faced since we first started traveling together. More than half the time, the cause for the trouble had been Joel, and while I can't exactly explain why, I feel that I'm somehow to blame for his actions, yet beyond our personal vendetta, I cannot begin to speculate the reason for the guilt.

And that's how I eventually concluded that I would be responsible for my own death in either one of two ways: either Joel's psychotic mind games would eventually cause me to go nuts and kill myself, or the demon would try to use me to hurt my friends--and I would rather die than be a cause for their suffering. One way or the other, I would kill myself.

But this was before my ship broke down.

---

 

I had slept on and off during the trip, drifting into dreams which, to my comfort, were less strenuous on my conscience than the night terrors I had been experiencing in recent weeks. No, these were just ordinary dreams--electrical impulses in my brain, screwing with my head. I saw a fae princess in a forest clearing, having a casual conversation with a large, regal-looking dragon. I was in a prison block, its residents faces hidden from me, but I could hear low muttering sounds, interrupted by tortured screams from down the hall.

 

I dreamed of Vincit, howling in anguish, and Windsong in his arms, dead. He loved her dearly. Originally, I would have never imagined someone as... unapproachable, I guess you could say--someone as unapproachable as Vinny could ever bring himself to genuinely care so deeply for another. But from what he told me of their first meeting, frankly, I could say the same for Wyn. They were perfect for each other.

 

I woke with a start to the gentle buzzing sound of the sleep alarm in the cockpit. Realizing the dream with Vinny and Wyn was only my own cruel mind at play, I relaxed and let the ship continue on its course, passing through the systems and star fields until I had neared my destination. I was looking at my rations, trying to decide what to eat next, when the whole cockpit lit up.

 

There was a serious problem with the ship. Red lights flashed across the board, and the gentle buzzing that had woken me earlier returned with a vengeance, resonating in my skull, irritating the roots of my teeth and the space just behind my eyes. Something was very wrong.

 

I slammed my wrist against the computer port and jacked into the mainframe. The tiny craft's computer informed me that the engine was having some issues, and no amount of counseling was going to reassure it. No, this was a mechanical issue, and despite the fact I could easily diagnose the problem, space is not exactly the kind of environment you just walk right out in and start pulling apart your little spaceship's engine.

 

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. We got the thing pretty cheap to begin with. I was lucky enough to have gotten as far as I have before the thing decided to break down on me. I had thought Crazy Ernie looked a little unhinged.

 

Lights begin turning off in the cockpit one by one. Suddenly, the buzzing stopped, and so did the ship, propelled now by its own inertia. I looked out the cockpit window to see nothing. Blackness. I was stranded.

 

---

 

I was taking a quick inventory of my food supplies. Two packets of water, half a spacemac, a packet of freeze-dried apples and five packs of Wendauerian goulash. I had been putting off eating the goulash and was beginning to fear the need to eat it when the radio beeped.

 

"Ahoy, zere! Any zurviverz?"

 

"Just one," I replied, "Propulsion is shot; rations are low; need emergency assistance."

 

"Yah, ve can tow ya," came the response, "But it'll cost ya."

 

"How much?"

 

"200 creditz."

 

I blinked, "200 just for Earth?"

 

"Oh, you vanna go to Erd--zat's double."

 

Figures. "All I have is 300."

 

The radio voice chuckled, "Zen it's your lucky day, yah? I jus dizcounted my service to 300 creditz. Vanna lift?"

 

Who was I to argue with generosity?

 

---

 

"Ve are arrivingz at Stuttgart Dropsheep Station."

 

I shook my head, "Germany? I didn't know you were going to Germany--I need to get to Australia."

 

"Oh, yah? An' you did not ask?"

 

It's true. I hadn't asked where the freighter was bound--I was too wrapped up in surviving the cold, dark frontier to ask about flight plans, but when the odds of a passing ship picking up your distress beacon are measured exponentially, specifics tend to fall by the wayside in those situations.

 

An inconvenience? Yes. But it beats being left adrift. I sighed, defeated, and dug the Black CrediCube from my pocket.

 

"Ah," the man's eyebrows raised with surprise, "A Schwarz CrediCube? You are royalty?"

 

I shook my head. I understood the presumption--a Black CrediCube was a status symbol, as many things are--something only the very wealthy could afford. Windsong had been generous enough to supply us with the funding necessary to travel to Gamezoha, but we hadn't factored in my Earth excursion. Crazy Ernie's worthless-piece-of-ship had set us back, and I watched now as the man popped the cube into a small slot on his itinerary assistant, the glowing blue liquid inside representing the last my of finances draining away to nothing. The cube popped up out of the slot and he handed it back to me empty.

 

"A pleazure."

 

"Yours, I'm sure," I said, stuffing my hands in my coat pockets, "Help yourself to my ship. I won't need it where I'm going."

 

"You mus be joking."

 

"Think of it as that missing hundred credits I owe you."

 

The man stood, staring up at my now defunct ship while I stepped down the ramp from his ship's cargo bay and onto the tarmac at Stuttgart Dropship Station. I needed to find some way to get to Australia. But first thing's first, I needed some finances, and nothing came to mind immediately short of putting in a deep-space call to Wyn and Vinny and even then, that would be a last ditch effort. No, I needed to dig up some credits the old fashioned way.

 

---

 

The job boards.

 

In my years spent wandering the Earth, the admittedly frequent need for a warm place to sleep and food to eat had driven me to stand staring at the job boards--not to seek permanent employment, but rather sign up for one-time gigs.

 

Take this one, for instance: extermination. Seeking one mercenary to locate and dispose of dangerous creature. Must have own weapons and battle experience, magical trades a plus. I can't recall how many times I had to resolve to mark hunting to afford room and board, but I'd done it enough to remember how, even months after my last gig.

 

I blinked as I read the solicitor and reread the name of the organization.

 

The Most Chaste and Holy Brides of the Warrior Christ.

 

That was Sister Assumpta's order, wasn't it? Why would an order of warrior nuns have need for a hired sword?

 

Truthfully, had I been thinking clearly, I wouldn't have taken the job. The last thing I wanted was to walk into their headquarters and have the nuns faceplant the ground at the sight of an angel--but at the time, it seemed the right thing to do to come to the aid of these people, even if it did mean an embarrassing reunion with the Sister.

 

I hope she hadn't told all her friends about me--they sure would be disappointed.

 

---

 

The Schwarzwald was every bit as pretty as Vincit and Jon had described it. Sure, the Black Forest had been dead and desolate when they had first arrived, but they certainly left it in better shape than they found it. Stories of werewolves and vampires were enough to keep me alert, however, listening for any unusual sounds that I couldn't contribute to the resident wildlife.

 

It took the better part of a day, but I eventually found myself looking down upon the walled gates that protected the home of Sister Assumpta's order. The massive gates were closed now and a small gathering of tents were placed not too far from the entrance. Smoke drifted into the air and I could see figures moving about.

 

According to the job posting, I was looking for a one Reverend Mother Genavive, the Mother Superior of the MCHBWC. It was high time I approached and offered my services--

 

The cold dagger pressed dangerously close to my neck.

 

"Don't move."

 

I held my breath--didn't even speak for fear of cutting my own throat, the blade was pressed so tightly.

 

"What is thine business here?" the voice asked.

 

"Uhhh... I've come for the job posting. Monster in the sanctuary?"

 

A small but strong hand started to search my coat pockets, fingers moving nimbly. When the hand reached under my coat and brushed the feathers, it paused and there was a light gasp.

 

"Merciful Father..."

 

Oh geez, this was exactly what I DIDN'T want.

 

The dagger fell away and I heard a soft thud. When I turned, the nun in ninja garb was on her knees, face in the ground.

 

"No, no, no, don't do that--"

 

"Surely, thou has been sent to destroy the evil that dwells within our once hallowed home?"

 

"Sent? No, I came of my own accord--but get up anyways, I'm not the kind of angel you go blind looking at."

 

Slowly the nun lifted her head but kept it bowed slightly to avoid looking me in the face. She gasped when I offered my hand and might have had a heart attack when I pulled her up off the ground if it weren't for the fact she was too stunned for her heart to attack.

 

"I'm looking for the Reverend Mother."

 

The nun made the sign of the cross, "Yes, fair angel... this way."

 

---

 

I found myself in the largest tent within the small campsite, brought in very discreetly by my captor. I was beginning to notice the uniform trend amongst the nuns of The Most Chaste and Holy Brides of the Warrior Christ: the white and purple habits, the black leather armor that more accented the figure than hid it--very unlike traditional nuns. But these weren't traditional nuns.

 

The Reverend Mother Genavive had her back turned to us, tending a candlelit display along one side of the tent. Unlike the younger warrior nuns, she wore the a more traditional robe with modest cloth embellishments that signified her rank and status as leader of the MCHBWC.

 

"Reverend Mother--"

 

"I am aware, child. Thank you. You may return to your post. And speak nothing of this matter."

 

The nun faltered slightly, then immediately bowed her head, "Yes, Reverend Mother," and exited the tent in a hurry. I watched her leave, impressed by her ability to adhere to the standards of her order in the face of curiosity.

 

"Now then," the Reverend Mother began as she turned towards me. Her face was aged, but a visage of the youthful beauty she once exuded could be seen easily, "We both know you are no angel. So who--what... are you?"

 

Uh-oh. I noticed the older woman's hands rested on the end of a sturdy wooden cane, but I had a feeling that the stick was less a walking aid and more a weapon. Under her questioning gaze, I decided to go with the most honest reply I could muster.

 

"I don't know what I am, really," I said, "I know I look LIKE an angel, but I harbor no illusions of perpetrating that image."

 

"Is that so? Because according to the good Sister Assumpta, you are a shining visage of a servant of the Lord."

 

I winced. I should have expected this kind of reception. And there'd be no lying to get out of this--I was honest to a fault, that much was true. Besides, the old nun could probably read my thoughts right now.

 

"Despite your seeming lack of common sense, I have the notion that you are a good soul at heart, but you will certainly have to prove your worth Mister... ?"

 

"Angeles. Oscar Angeles, Reverend Mother. I meant no harm--"

 

"You can keep your excuses Mr. Angeles, regardless of your intentions your appearance has certainly caused quite a stir within our ranks," the Reverend Mother continued, walking and talking swiftly as she moved to a nearby desk, a large crucifix standing behind it, "If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that the good Lord hath His reasons for your sudden arrival here. Anybody could have answered that want ad, but it is either by pure coincidence or divine intervention that you happen to be in the right place at the right time under the right circumstances to find yourself wandering into our territory for a job. And I'm sure you realize I don't believe in coincidence."

 

I nodded. It was all I could do.

 

"In any case," Genavive continued, "We do need the help of a talented warrior and I'm not about to turn you away simply based on what may or may not be misunderstandings between you and the good Sister Assumpta. Not surprising to me is the fact that she is the one who will likely be in need of thy help."

 

I blinked.

 

"Two weeks ago, we returned to our sanctuary here to find the castle grounds desecrated--corrupted by a demon that we have been unable to exorcise from our home. We lost a few of our dear, brave souls to the diabolical carnage of the beast and if you don't act fast, the fair Sister may be its next victim."

 

"Do what?!"

 

"There's not a moment to lose," Genavive opened a drawer at her desk and pulled forth a key on a chain, "I'll take you to one of the side entrances. From there on, it'll be your task to find the Sister and destroy the beast."

 

This was all happening too fast. But as I followed the Reverend Mother through the tents and past other nuns that stared in curiosity, it began to sink in that not only had I been given a job to do, there was something far greater at stake now than a little pay: a friend was in danger, and she needed my help.

 

---

 

It was only after the Reverend Mother had pushed me through the side entrance and locked the door behind me that I realized the trouble I had just gotten myself into. Somewhere in the hallowed halls of this castle was a demon that killed without consideration, but more important to me at the moment was that Assumpta was also somewhere in within and was in great danger of death. Or worse.

 

I made my way down the cold stone corridors, listening, moving quietly. I had no idea what I was looking for or where to find it, but I hoped to God I'd find it before it found me. As I turned a blind corner I noticed the musty smell of dust and wood and stone give way to a new scent: decaying flesh.

 

I passed under an arched entryway and found myself in a large room, a massive fireplace built into one wall, rows of tables left unoccupied for months since the MCHBWC was forced into hiding along with the remaining members of the SOAKID. The stench was stronger in here.

 

In past dealings with demons, I had learned that the most popular method of torment evil spirits loved to employ was that of trickery. Demons were natural masters of deception, skilled in confusing the senses into seeing, hearing, or even smelling things which were unreal.

 

Of course, this was a demon that had the power to desecrate holy ground and stand up against a small squad of devout nuns trained in combat. I had to remind myself that I was probably facing a most dangerous foe, indeed.

 

It was then, walking amongst the bare wooden tables, that my foot kicked something squishy that made a watery squelching sound. I looked down.

 

A dead warrior nun, half of her skin ripped from her body, exposing the muscle and skeleton beneath it. Terror-filled eyes that stared up at me as maggots crawled around her face. And she wasn't the only one. Down the aisle, a row of bodies marked the death and carnage the monster had wrought upon the small convent and its unfortunate victims.

 

I was horrified at first, then saddened by the massacre. That this type of evil existed was a tragedy upon mankind. I wouldn't stand for it. I would avenge their deaths.

 

"Be afraid."

 

The voice emanated directly behind me, growling deep and loud in my ear with a sinister tone, its echo sounding of screams. Almost immediately I felt the presence over my shoulder and I whipped around, spooked by the sudden noise, my sword already materialized in my hand, ready to face the demon.

 

Nothing was there.

 

I jumped again as I felt a hand suddenly latch onto my ankle. Looking down, I recoiled in shock as I realized the dead, decaying, decrepit corpse was clawing at me, stale blood oozing, maggots falling. Down the aisle, the corpses were all struggling to gain locomotion--and they were doing so in my direction.

 

I felt the presence behind me again, warm, intense, pressing up against me. It chuckled, the laughter like the rumble of thunder in the distance, low and guttural.

 

"You coward!" I said aloud, shaking my leg free from the bony grasp of the reanimated corpse, "You can't even do your own dirty work--you have to use your own victims against me! I thought you were supposed to be some big deal, but you can't even manifest yourself! What a loser."

 

Please note, kiddies, its not wise to taunt a demon: they don't like being picked on and I highly suggest you not do so unless you're some sort of trained professional. I guess it helps to be a little crazy, too, because you'd have to be to provoke something so powerfully evil.

 

I felt a sharp blow in my gut, something heavy nailing me in the stomach and chest, knocking the air out of my lungs. It was hot, too. I stumbled backwards, back-peddling to keep my balance. At the same time there was a loud roaring sound.

 

"You dare mock Barbas?!" the voice snarled in my ears, its rage showing in the high-pitched feedback noise that followed its words.

 

I took a deep breath, "It's not a mockery I speak of," I replied, "It's the TRUTH!"

 

It hit me again. This time in the back, sending me to the floor, sprawling. I looked up in slight irritation only to come face to face with the still crawling corpse. It was reaching for me again, and I scrambled to my feet.

 

"No more games, demon," I felt my sword materialize in my hand once again, "We shall end this now."

 

In the darkened hall, silent except for the sound of my voice and the shuffling of zombie nuns, the shocking visage of a screaming, blank-eyed face appeared before me, shrieking in terror.

 

I screamed, falling backwards as I brought my sword up, whipping the blade through the air. It was gone as soon as it had appeared. The guttural laughter resumed, this time filling the entire hall.

 

"You fear me."

 

Did I really fear Barbas? I don't think so. To fear anything is to grant it power--power that would allow the evil to grow stronger than it already was. No, I wasn't afraid of Barbas.

 

"That kind of prank is nothing but a cheap scare. I'm not so much afraid of you as I am... annoyed." The laughter faded and the room appeared to darken. I could see the shadows shift and twist. Blackness swirled along the ground and began to gather in front of me. It flowed upward, like the winds of a typhoon. And as the shadows twisted and warped a figure began to appear in the darkness: a large beast, a lion, bigger than your average big cat, his coat a filthy brown, patches of fur missing. It had eyes that burned like fire and sharp fangs--probably more teeth than a typical lion should have. It spoke without opening its mouth.

 

"I am Barbas: the Great President, governor of thirty-six legions of lesser demons, bringer of fear."

 

I watched the lion pad forward on clawed paws, getting closer and closer, its bright eyes burning into me. It stopped a foot away and growled low.

 

"I see your fear."

 

Visions of my dead friends flashed before my eyes, blurring my vision. I blinked and shook my head to clear my mind, but the visions persisted. And as I was blinded by their bloody corpses, the demon crept closer, its large jaws open, unhinging, revealing rows of razor sharp teeth. I probably would've been a goner if it wasn't for a miracle.

 

"BEGONE, WRETCHED FIEND!"

 

My vision came into focus and I saw the lion, it's great maw inches from my face, turn in surprise. Standing in the doorway was none other than Sister Assumpta of the Ascension, sword maiden of the Most Chaste and Holy Brides of the Warrior Christ. She rushed the demon and brought her sword down through its being, light gleaming off her blade, but Barbas was too fast and his physical being turned to black vapor, Assumpta's sword cutting through the dark smoke.

 

I found myself staring at the nun, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she breathed heavily, her hair slightly out of place from under her habit, her dirty face an expression of determination. It looked as if she had been tracking the demon within her own home for quite some time. A few seconds passed before she finally looked over at me. To my disappointment, she looked very bewildered at my presence, "Oscar... how have ye come to be here?"

 

"Long story," I said, standing up and dusting myself off, "I was headed south... WAY down south, and I ended up here instead."

 

"Ye arrival 'tis a sign from God," she said very matter-of-factly. I winced inwardly.

 

"Perhaps so," I responded, not knowing the best answer for the moment, "Genavive sent me--told me you were in danger from... what did it call itself again? Barbas?"

 

Assumpta frowned, "'Tis the Demon of Fear--a president under the wicked one. His deception is strong, but the Holy Ghost is stronger, still."

 

"Is it gone?"

 

As soon as the words had left my mouth, Assumpta was suddenly picked up into the air and hurled across the room, slamming against the wall. Before I could move to help her there was a flash of light and I felt the heavy weight crash into me once again, this time knocking me to the ground and pinning my chest down. A low growl filled the room.

 

"I am far from gone," the lion growled, it's breath hot and rancid. I tried to move and the demon applied more pressure, pushing down on my lungs, making it difficult to breath.

 

"I see your fear."

 

Through eyes squinting in pain I watched the shape of the lion shimmer and shift, fading into black smoke and morphing before my eyes, yet the weight on me never lessened. As the demon took on a new form my eyes widened with dawning surprise.

 

"... Joel?!"

 

"Behold: your greatest fear," the demon-in-Joel-form spoke in its own voice, "Yourself."

 

"No... no, that's not me... he just looks like--"

 

"Look, I'm a billion years old--I know what I said: your greatest fear is yourself."

 

Hard medicine to swallow, but the twisted, distorted words resonated within a hollow space deep inside of me, like the sound of air escaping from the recently deceased. I'd never taken the danger that Joel presented for granted and had sometimes feared his actions, but it wasn't until the nightmares and the visions that started to haunt me that some wretched thing would be done by my hands, either directly or indirectly influenced by Joel, and that in essence, I feared what Joel was capable of making me do--or what he was capable of doing through me.

 

But this just went to show how little I knew about my past: how I could only remember as far back as fighting Joel and wandering aimlessly around the world. I knew there was more to us than the feeling that, as polar opposites, we were destined to fight each other endlessly, over and over again.

 

The demon above me considered me for a moment, "There is something strangely familiar about you... you appear as one of light, but you are not truly one of them. Whom do you serve?"

 

"What?"

 

The demon-as-Joel snarled, an unnatural sound emanating from its mouth, "Answer me, worm: whom do you serve?"

 

It seemed like a silly question to ask. I don't know what I was thinking then and I still don't think I understand my words, but an image flashed in my mind and it seemed like an appropriate thing to say at the time.

 

"I serve... the King."

 

I saw the grimace of anger slacken, the demon's aura appearing to take on one of confusion, "The King?"

 

I had a vision of Vinny, not in his usual rumpled coat and lopsided fedora, but rather appearing regal, cleaned up, with a crown upon his head. I let out a short laugh.

 

I laughed in the face of fear.

 

The demon-as-Joel roared, jumping back, clasping its head in pain. At the same time, its chest exploded as the blade of Sister Assumpta pierced the monster through its back.

 

"In the name of The Father and The Son and The Holy Spirit: BACK ta Hell with ya!"

 

With a screech of feedback, the shadow vanished and the hall brightened considerably. I looked up from my position on the floor to see a group of warrior nuns sitting up, all looking very much healthy and alive and fully-skinned & maggot-free.

 

I looked back up at Assumpta, blinking, "You did it."

 

She smiled, "Nay: we did it together."

 

---

 

I imagine it was quite a sight for the sisters to see when Assumpta and I pulled open the front gates and stepped outside the confines of the sanctuary along with all the missing nuns. Half of those present fell to their knees in thankfulness. The others rushed to Assumpta and their sisters, glad to be reunited. I adjusted my coat to make sure my wings were well hidden, then I was surprised to see the Reverend Mother, escorted by a pair of armed guards, make her way directly over to me.

 

"So you've returned with the others. All appear accounted for. What of the demon?"

 

"Defeated," I said, "The castle may be in need of repair and a little cleansing couldn't hurt, either, but I saw Assumpta kill the monster right in front of me."

 

Genavive's mouth tightened at the words and she nodded in acknowledgement, "I see. So you never actually killed the monster, did ye?"

 

I didn't like where this conversation was going, "Distracted, yes. Killed, no. Something tells me I didn't fulfill the contract."

 

"The job did request disposal of the beast. As one of our own is responsible for the demon's destruction, I don't see how you should be rewarded for a job you did not do, wouldn't you agree?"

 

Natch.

 

"In all fairness, Reverend Mother... I do agree."

 

Genavive made no reply. The warrior nuns serving as her personal guard exchanged glances. The silence was lessened only by the floating sounds of celebration and prayer.

 

"Well... guess I'll be on my way, then," I said, shrugging my shoulders and sticking my hands in my pockets, "Sorry for the inconvenience." Clearly she was still a little upset about Assumpta thinking I was some sort of heavenly being. Thoughts of backhanding Gauss and Jon simultaneously crept across my mind. I shook 'em loose and chalked it up to being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'd better get going before somebody takes notice and starts something--

 

I turned around and came face-to-face with a green-eyed, nappy-haired nun. I froze, staring back at her, feeling rather uncomfortable. She whispered one word.

 

"Angel."

 

I took a step back and the young woman hit the ground and started wailing. At first, I thought she was going into some epileptic seizure. Then somebody shouted.

 

"Look! Sister Anna is having another vision!"

 

Vision? I've had visions before--did I look anything like this? Not that I can recall. Again, I noticed a division among the ranks as half of the nuns rushed over to where Sister Anna appeared to be having her vision, while half seemed reluctant and somewhat irritated at the sudden outburst.

 

I backed worriedly away from the growing crowd and caught the eye of Reverend Mother Genavive. She was frowning at me--as if this was something of my doing. The way things were going, I was going to end up facing some sort of punishment for merely being here--and I don't think a couple slaps on the wrist were in order. These were warrior nuns, after all...

 

As Sister Anna proceeded to speak some gibberish in the midst of the growing crowd, I decided to take my leave. I turned around and was stopped in my tracks a SECOND time--this time by Assumpta. She looked tired, dark circles under her eyes, perspiration on her face, dirty smudges and stray blond hairs. I found it all so unnaturally attractive I bit my tongue.

 

"Ah," Assumpta faltered with her words for a moment, "Thou art leaving?"

 

I kicked myself mentally, "I'm sorry, Sister: I have an important matter to attend to and can't stay any longer. Excuse me--"

 

That's when we were mobbed.

 

"God hath spoken through Sister Anna!"

 

"He calls the brave Sister to give aid to the stranger!"

 

"She said He spoke of miracles and battles!"

 

"He said they are to be instruments for Saint Krigsley!"

 

"Hallelujah, hallelujah!"

 

I was too overwhelmed by their enthusiasm to say anything. I caught Assumpta's eye just long enough to give her a worried look and a quick shake of my head. She looked at me quizzically. I tried to find the Reverend Mother beyond the crowd, but it appeared as if she had returned to her tent. Sister Anna was being tended to by a couple of her fellow nuns. For a moment I could've sworn I saw her smile at me.

 

What in God's name was going on here?

 

---

 

"I don't think the Reverend Mother likes me very much."

 

Assumpta and I were making our way out of the camp. Below we could see members of the MCHBWC taking down their temporary quarters while others moved inside to survey the damage the demon had wrought upon their home. Assumpta turned from the sight to look at me, a concerned look on her face.

 

"Whatever would give ye that thought? Mother Genavive is as caring an' friendly as she is reverent an' wise."

 

"That's what I'm afraid of," I said, "Did she happen to say anything about me before we left?"

 

"Only that I should watch ye with a guarded eye. Are thou in any danger?"

 

"Not now--not that I know of," I replied, thinking of the wrath the Reverend Mother might unleash upon me should something go awry between Assumpta and myself.

 

As time passed I filled Assumpta in on what had happened since her return to Earth; about Windsong, Skai and myself, meeting with SURTR and regaining a foothold in the Wenduarian empire; about Gauss, and how he was being manipulated by Moebius; about Jon and Gunther flying into Gamezohan territory to try and rescue Miriam.

 

I didn't tell her everything, of course--it wouldn't have done any good to finally admit I was no angel. Besides, I doubt Assumpta would've believed me. I explained the vision I had to her, and she listened intently. I mentioned the stag.

 

"Truly, thou recognizes the visage of the Lord?"

 

"The stag is... Christ?"

 

"'Tis a symbol," she replied, and I had the feeling that she was curious as to why an angel of the Lord wouldn't recognize such an image.

 

"Anyways, my ship broke down and I ended up getting towed into Stuttgart. I didn't have any credits to pay for a gate jump or a flight to Australia, so I took the job to help exterminate the demon--"

 

"And the Reverend Mother didn't pay you for ya services?!"

 

I winced, "Technically, I didn't exactly fulfill my part of the deal. I was supposed to kill the monster, but you saw to that."

 

Awkward silence. I tried to fix my blunder, "Which is fine, as far as I'm concerned. The money wasn't important. What's important is that the demon is defeated and the convent is safe. And so are you."

 

Another awkward silence. Finally Assumpta spoke, "So... ye need a means of getting to the Australian coast, then?"

 

"Yeah," I nodded, "Why, you know of some way?" I turned to look back at Assumpta and my jaw dropped slightly. She had removed her habit and her golden blond hair fell around her shoulders, framing her face. She noticed my reaction and blushed slightly. I shook my head, "Uh... some way... to get there?"

 

She smiled shyly, "I've an idea."

 

---

 

She's a pilot.

 

Y'know, part of me was surprised to learn about this. Part of me should have seen it coming. Jon's experience with technology-based devices is severely limited and Vinny's not exactly Top Gun material--so when we all split up after leaving the Hikari-No months ago, I kinda guessed Assumpta was responsible for flying their craft out of the false black hole, but that possibility had slipped my mind until now.

 

We had taken a nice hike to a small airfield where Assumpta greeted the owner with smiles and hugs. It wasn't long before we were seated in a short range transport, heading in a southeasterly direction. It was enough to get us where we needed to go.

 

"When did you learn to fly?" I asked from the back of the two-seater.

 

"Was required of me in my early years in the convent. Most of the sisters 'ave some level of pilot training, in case we were called upon to transport something or someone of importance."

 

"So it's like being a personal driver?"

 

"Nay, nothing so austere. Indeed, some of us 'ad combat training."

 

I tried to imagine Sister Assumpta in a midair dogfight, "Ever shoot anyone down?"

 

"Nobody that didn't 'ave it coming, God 'ave mercy on their souls."

 

Less than five hours later, we were flying along the northern Australian coast.

 

"That's it!" I exclaimed, leaning forward from the back seat and pointing over Assumpta's shoulder, "That's the mountain."

 

It looked just like I had seen it in my vision. There wasn't a single soul for miles around, and the desert cliff stretched onwards, interrupted by a mountain range not too far off.

 

"This is the Tursd'red," Assumpta said, looking at her readouts, "'Tis a very dangerous desert."

 

"What did you call it again?" I asked.

 

"The Tursd'red."

 

That name. It sounded similar to the words I had heard... Ters Dered... Tursd'red. The phonetics had been slightly off, but with the mountain looking so familiar and the words--it couldn't have been a coincidence. Now if I could only figure out what Mathuse Vens Ven meant.

 

We circled the mountain once before landing on the far side, opposite the coastline and its raging sea below. I wasn't the least bit surprised to find the cave entrance nearby. It looked just like I had seen it. I shivered in the desert heat.

 

The air grew dense in my hand, and like many times before, my sword appeared in a quick flash of light. It gave me little comfort this time. I spoke before turning back to the ship, "You don't have to go any further. It might be dangerous."

 

Assumpta had already pulled her own blade, and nodded with a strict confidence that came from years of spiritual, physical and emotional training that was befitting of the Most Chaste and Holy Brides of the Warrior Christ. She was with me whether I liked it or not.

 

God bless her. God forgive me.

 

As we walked into the cool dampness of the cavern, I noticed a change in the rock; how it seemed at first that the cave was completely natural, yet the deeper we went in, the ceiling, walls and floor had a smoother look to them, as if this portion of the cave were man-made. I noticed curved shapes in the walls at regular intervals and thought they might be lights, but if they were there was no indication how to turn them on. I heard Assumpta fumble through a travel pack at her side and heard a crack as light from a flashpack flooded the cavern.

 

A few yards further, the man-made tunnel continued deeper into the mountain, but I noticed a dim light shining from an opening in the wall ahead--big enough to be an entryway. Moving cautiously, we turned a corner and peered around the rocky wall. The light came from one of the small spherical lights built into the wall. It gave off a cool blue light, very dim. Next to it, a second recessed light was off, shattered, leaving one side of the small room darker than the other.

 

We stepped around the corner, swords at the ready and walked into the area. Nothing. No signs of any previous inhabitants. No others doors or cavern tunnels. Just a small, dimly lit chamber.

 

As I was contemplating our next move, Assumpta walked over to the wall, studying the light. I was about to suggest we return to the cavern and continue on when she motioned for me, "Oscar. Come hither."

 

What she had found was a small crack in the wall--the outline of a doorway. But there was no indication that it was an actual door. If it were, the seam between it and the wall was too perfect--even from a foot away the wall still looked like a clean rock face. I pushed on the door tentatively: nothing. We both pushed and the wall refused to give. I scratched my head in confusion, shivered again, this time, from the coolness. I felt a feather fall from beneath my coat. Assumpta appeared lost in thought. I was slowly coming to a realization...

 

"... Mathuse Vens Ven..." I quietly murmured.

 

"Pardon?" Assumpta said, looking at me.

 

I shook my head, "Sorry, I'm trying to figure something out..."

 

"Oh," she smiled, "I thought thou were quoting the scriptures."

 

It was my turn to be confused: "Scriptures?"

 

"Didst thou not speak of Matthew Seven Seven?" she asked, appearing humored, "Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find..."

 

"Knock," I finished, the revelation hitting me dead on, "And the door will open unto you."

 

I immediately stepped up to the door and rapped on it with my knuckles three times in quick succession. With a quiet wooshing sound, the door slid slightly back and into the wall, revealing a small, brightly lit metallic chamber. I felt my heart jump. I was closer now to understanding the visions I had been having than I had ever been before, and I stepped inside the chamber, hypnotized by the opportunity to learn what it was I was meant to find out.

 

When we were both inside, the door quietly closed, and it was then I noticed the panel of buttons on the wall. We were in an elevator.

 

"What now?" Assumpta asked me, her voice sounding very different in the metallic elevator than it had in the rocky cavern not moments before.

 

"Let's get to the bottom of this," I said, pressing a button, "And by that, I mean we're going to the very top."

 

I had no idea what to expect once the elevator reached the top of the mountain. I actually thought it a little peculiar that we were in an elevator inside a mountain. Whomever had built this place had done so for the sole purpose of seclusion: personal space being a rare thing on Earth. They must've also been very wealthy--or at least wealthy enough to engineer such a fortress. Before I could speculate any further, the elevator stopped and the doors opened.

 

The room before us was dark, and it was difficult to make out what we were looking at. I instinctively reached over to the wall and felt for a switch, finding a row of them. There was a click and low hum. Metal shutters began lifting up along either side of the room, revealing a beautiful panoramic view of the Australian Outback on one side and an equally beautiful view of the ocean on the other, stretching out as far as the eye could see. We had to be nearly a hundred feet up inside the mountain--and at a spot in its peak where this particular room could span a portion of its spire.

 

What immediately caught my attention, however, was the room itself. As the shutters opened, allowing us to look upon the outside world, the light shone inside. What we saw looked like a cross between an MIT testing facility and the result of a barroom brawl. Beakers and tubes had been smashed, monitors and control panels destroyed, tables and chairs turned over. Papers cluttered the entire lab, some had been burned. Even some of the windows had been shattered, and the ocean breeze wafted into the room now, blowing loose pages across the room.

 

"My word," Assumpta quietly exclaimed.

 

I didn't say anything. It all was hauntingly familiar. I felt like I had known this place, but I couldn't understand why because I simply had no memories of the place. It wasn't like Deja Vu or some sort of vague similarity to someplace had been. This place was important--for some reason I couldn't quite understand.

 

I walked over to one of the remaining computer stations that were intact, "I'm going to try and access this terminal." Assumpta nodded and started looking around, stepping carefully and quietly. I could feel the wind blowing in from a nearby shatter window, and some of the scattered papers stirred nearby. I tried typing a few elementary commands into the keyboard and was rewarded with a flashing message on the dusty screen.

 

ACCESS DENIED.

 

It looked like I wouldn't get anywhere playing nice. I noticed the terminal had a port in it, but I could tell it had been damaged, so I decided to improvise. I called forth my sword, held it in both hands and jabbed into the panel surrounding the port. There was a loud crunch as the metal gave, and the port fell away, revealing a tangled mass of wires within. The sudden noise made Assumpta jump on the other side of the room. I apologized, put my sword away and reached into the mass of circuitry. I was up to my elbow when I managed to connect to the main port.

 

ACCESS GRANTED. Welcome home, Dr. de Viaminima.

 

That name: that was what the green-haired lady back in that restaurant had called me. I still had no idea who she was or how she knew me, but... was this who I was? Was this my real name? I jacked into the personal logs and created a search database, then queried the computer regarding a number of different things.

 

This is what I learned:

 

Josephus de Viaminima was a techalchemist, an expert in an advanced branch of the old science of alchemy. Now I know what you're thinking, was this guy some sort of mage trying to turn metal into gold? No, this is a common misconception, although there were many so-called "alchemists" who abused the title for wisdom, health, and fortune: standard desires of mankind.

 

True alchemy was a scientific forerunner to chemistry. It was a way for mankind to study nature, to explore the chemical reactions that took place between various elements. Many famous scholars like Isaac Newton and Robert Boyle were practitioner alchemists. Some even studied the cosmos using alchemy years before mankind even dreamed of space travel. Everything that happens once will never happen again. But anything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.

 

But most importantly, alchemy was a metaphysical study: a search for something more spiritual than material. It was a desire to be free of corruption physically, mentally and spiritually--to be wholesome, free of the disease of imperfection, of failure, and of evil. Just as people imagined alchemists desiring to remove impurities from common metals to create a precious metal, so too did the true alchemist desire to remove the impurities from their self to create a superior self.

 

At least, that's what I was gleaning from the information I was uncovering. A lot of this was based on historical accounts from hundreds of years ago. The information I wanted was more recent. Josephus de Viaminima was also an alchemist, studying the same mystical realm as his predecessors did ages ago, but with a twist. See, de Viaminima's ability as a technomancer--one who can manipulate technical devices on a personal, humanistic level--gave him an incredible advantage in a new field of study called techalchemy.

 

I felt the cords in my wrist moving, connecting and disconnecting to different parts of the computer, accessing different files. This was a feeling that had never felt weird to me. It always felt natural to manipulate technology in the manner I had, just as it had always been second nature to call upon God when I needed Him. Whether He ever answered is up for debate, but in any case, I knew for certain that there were too many similarities between myself and Dr. de Viaminima to discard the possibility that I was him. I had to be sure, though, so I searched for his photo. An image came onscreen...

 

Holy Moses.

 

It was me. And Joel. It was the same face I saw whenever I looked into a mirror--the same face I saw whenever I faced my mortal enemy. With the exception of the glasses, I was looking at an exact duplicate.

 

This was me--us. But how?

 

I began accessing the doctor's journal entries at a frantic pace, pushing the CPU to its max. Nothing mattered now, I had to know who he was and how I was connected...

 

... there was a contract... Project Tetrahedral Righteousness... something about a grant through some Gamezohan foundation... a top secret research project that the doctor made little mention of in his personal journals... that he was keeping his results a secret to investigate the concept of balance on his own... that he knew there needed to be safety precautions but he was too overzealous, too eager, too greedy and too damn blind to see... he left the program... returned home... all his side projects fell by the wayside... his curiosity was far too great...

 

As I was reading through his entries, catching snippets of information, I noticed a backlog of security videos from hidden cameras within the secret lab. Like a child eating candy, I opened the footage file.

 

The screen blinked and a bleak, monochrome blue shown through the dust. The numbers at the bottom placed the date over ten years ago, and the time in the late evening. I could see the collection of Pyrex tubes and beakers, a couple of crucibles, and the doctor himself, hunched over one of the small cups, scribbling data furiously on a notepad and typing info into a nearby terminal. I watched him sigh and arch his back--he was obviously exhausted--likely making no head way in his futile experiment. I saw him lean back over and slowly twist a knob on one of the stoppers in the mass of tubing.

 

There was a huge flash.

 

There was no sound, but the explosion was great enough that it shook the camera. What I could make out was that... it looked as if the explosion had split the doctor... split him in two pieces! Both halves appeared to be sent flying across to opposite sides of the room! Dear God, what a horrible way to die! I felt my body tingle down the center, and shuddered at the thought.

 

Then the feed ended.

 

So if the doctor had being doing research into the balance of pure and impure, good and evil... and he apparently succeeded in the most horrendous way possible... and if myself and Joel shared too many similar traits with him then... was it possible that...

 

"Oscar?" Assumpta had walked up behind me without my knowing. I jumped.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"No, no, it's alright," I realized how engrossed in the data I must've been--she might've been calling my name for a while before I realized she was talking to me. I quickly disconnected my wires from the terminal and they detracted into my wrist, covered by a flap of skin. I jerked my arm free of the terminal and pulled my sleeve down, "Find anything?"

 

"Nay, it seems this place has been like a tomb for many years. A great battle was fought here, but between whom, I cannot be sure."

 

I wondered if I should tell her the truth about me now. What I knew... that somehow Dr. de Viaminima had found the secret base formula of alchemy and had used it to purify himself and, in doing so, had succeeded in removing the impurities from himself... yet they merely became his darker side. The evil twin to all that was pure. Oscar Angeles and Joel Diablo...

 

One in the same.

 

My legs gave way and I sat down hard on the ground. I felt sick to my stomach.

 

"Oscar! What's wrong?!"

 

I had to tell her. I had to tell her the truth. There was the voice in my head, "Oscar... Oscar..." Then I realized there really was a voice in my head--so faint that I hadn't noticed it right away.

 

"... Miriam?"

 

"What?" Assumpta asked.

 

"No, it's... it's Miriam--she's trying to call me. What's wrong, Miriam?"

 

Assumpta was looking at me funny as Miriam spoke, "We are all on Vincit's father's home planet Mathlar, bringing the war to a close. We need you at your earliest. Are things okay with you?"

 

"Yeah, I... Miriam... I just found out something really... terrible--actually... can I tell you later?"

 

"Of course. When you are ready to talk, just contact me. Be careful."

 

"I will," I said, and I felt the connection break. It would be the last time I would speak with her for a very long time.

 

"Was that the young girl? The one born of Saint Jon's possession?"

 

I bit my tongue and nodded. Assumpta was very devout in her beliefs--and the nanobots which had infected Jon had been viewed by both of them as an evil taint. Of course, Jon had learned differently. The sister, on the other hand...

 

But never mind that, now. I had to convince myself to get up and make my next move. The weight of my epiphany lingered on my mind. How could he have... I... how could WE have been so foolish?! The doctor really had been too blind to see clearly, and now he... or we had the responsibility to fix things. Or rather I had the responsibility, because if Joel truly had any memories about how we came to be, there was no indication that he wanted to... merge? Rejoin? Mix--how would we even begin to go about becoming one again? Would Joel even consider it?

 

"Oscar? Are thou feeling ill?"

 

"A little," I said, feeling the sweat on my brow. I wiped off my face and struggled to stand up--and did so with Assumpta's help, "We need to leave soon, but we'll need equipment to take the data core with us--I can't just leave it here."

 

"There are tools in the back o' the ship. Are Jonathan and the others in danger?"

 

I filled Assumpta in on what little Miriam had told me as we rode the elevator back down the mountain. I asked her if she were coming along and she said she would, if I was willing to have her along.

 

"Of course! Why would I say no?"

 

Assumpta looked down, "Surely thou realized Sister Anna's 'vision' wasn't... accurate."

 

I thought about the small nun flailing on the ground and that strange smile she gave me afterwards and I laughed, "If the Reverend Mother ever found out..."

 

Assumpta sighed, partly out of relief, partly out of recognition of Sister Anna's little charade. Before long she was laughing too. We both immediately stopped laughing when the elevator opened and we stepped through the doorway...

 

"Whoa."

 

I was fairly certain I had pressed the button on the elevator to return to the entrance, but it appears that there was at LEAST one additional level below that I hadn't been aware of...

 

We were in a hanger of some sort, once again, dusty and dark from years of neglect, but at least this place looked like it hadn't been the site for a no-holds-barred battle royal. The room was massive, and consoles and metal boxes littered the floor here and there.

 

What got my attention was the giant, dark red ship in the center of the room.

 

"Never have I seen such a vessel. 'Tis not of the ordinary," Assumpta remarked, looking with awe at the large ship.

 

"Yeah, it's got unique written all over it," I said, walking up to one of the large struts. The ship had to be at least 20 meters tall, completely red, with a row of lights around it's middle, starting from halfway the length of the ship and coming around the front before stopping halfway on the other side, and despite the fine collection of dust on the hull, it looked brand new, like the owner--apparently the good doctor--had never had the chance to take it for a test run. The cargo door was open at the rear of the ship like an open invitation. Without saying anything, I started over in that direction, and I could hear Assumpta walking right behind me.

 

"What's that?" she asked. I turned around and she pointed to the side of the ship: an sleek logo painted on its hull read The J-Train. It was an endearing addition, for some reason. I smiled and continued to the cargo hatch.

 

The inside was just as impressive as the outside, and a little cleaner, but not by much. It looked more like a fully furnished home than a spacecraft--a padded couch, a table with chairs, a tiled deck... it was the Vegas of spaceships. Josephus had either been really rich or really foolish with his cash. In any case, the ship was a real beauty. We didn't explore too much, just enough to get our bearings, then we both went up front to the cockpit.

 

"Alright, let's see if you can get this thing started up," I said.

 

Assumpta paled, "I... I have never seen such technology before... I do not know where to begin."

 

"Don't worry," I said, reassuringly, "I'm sure we can figure this out. Every ship's got to have a starter... we just need to find the right button... what ARE those switches for? InstaPulse? I've never heard of that brand before..."

 

Next thing I knew, the entire cockpit was flashing with different lights. I turned back to Assumpta, "What'd you do?"

 

She had a blank look on her face as she shrugged, "Nothing."

 

"Oooooooooh, MAN! That was some serious nap!"

 

I started, looking around the cockpit, empty except for the chairs, controls, and Assumpta and myself, "What the..."

 

"Hey, boss! Good to hear from you again... you've changed!"

 

"I think the ship is talking to you," Assumpta said, seemingly unperturbed by the situation.

 

I looked warily around, trying to see if I could find some source within the cockpit to talk directly to, "Uh, hello? Can you hear me?"

 

"Hello?" came the ships reply, "Of course I can, you're standing inside me, fer cryin' out loud! Geez, boss, what happened, you get your brain fricasseed or something? Wait a minute... something IS different."

 

I looked at Assumpta, unsure what to do next.

 

"Yes, different," the ship continued, "And lots have happened since I've been in hibernation... wars... advancements... aw, Eddie and Gwen broke-up? But they were Hollywood's Sweehearts--I thought for sure that relationship was gonna last... oh yeah--but where have YOU been all this time--what happened to you--it's YOU, sure as I'm sitting here jabberin' away, but your DNA is... funky. Do you have wings?"

 

"Uh, yes," I replied, feeling a little nervous.

 

"Sir Oscar is an angel of the Lord," Assumpta said, firmly. I had a feeling this lie was gonna get me in hot water pretty soon.

 

"HA, right! An angel--well, the ol' doctor sure can be a sweetheart, that's for sure. So, your name is Sur now, then, eh boss?"

 

"No--"

 

"Oscar, then? No surprise there--"

 

"Look," I interrupted, "Time out... are you telling me that you're MY ship?"

 

There was a moments silence, then the ship's electronic voice spoke, as if it were whispering to Assumpta, "He's a nice kid, he's just a little slow, see?"

 

"What was that?!"

 

The ship beeped, "I said, uh, 'Of course I'm your ship, boss, you built me!' I'm the JTX-2200b, better known as The J-Train--the latest in space-age technology, constructed by the one, the only, Dr. Josephus de Viaminima--expert in the field of techalcemy and chaos theory and spaghetti. I'm equipped with the latest in clean-running propulsion, the InstaPulse Cold Fusion Long Distance Flight System (patent pending) and I'm also one of the only lesser class spaceships to be equipped with a compact camouflage cloaking system! All this can be yours if the price is right, Bob! And preflight checks are nearly complete, so where'm I flying?"

 

I looked slowly over at Assumpta, "Whatta you think?"

 

Assumpta blinked, "Truly, if our friends are in need, the lil' jumper we left outside will not suffice."

 

She was right. We'd have to at least get the two-seater to some nearby air base and try to find a way off planet--either via a slip gate or on a commercial freighter--and both options presented the problem of having enough credits to afford the ride.

 

"Okay, ship, you're on," I said, the ship responding with a few cheerful beeps, "We need to get to the planet Mathlar... know where that is?"

 

"Do I know where that is?" the ship echoed, "Um, yes, I only have every star chart known to man in my database." Immediately, all the screens in the cockpit lit up, images of charts, planets and stars flashing on the monitors. The J-Train continued to mumble, "Okay, here we are on Earth--no, wait, that's Venus--here's Earth, and if that MacDonald's is still here, then we have to hang a left and travel west... well, west oriented to the sun... wait, the sun's round--which way is west? Ah, screw it--OKAY, I'VE GOT IT! I can get there in no time flat--just sit back, relax, put on your travelin' gear, cause it's the J-Train, baby, we depart from right here!"

 

"Wait, wait, wait," I said, "We can't go just yet--I need to get the data core from the lab." I had a great feeling the information in those computers would be vital, not just for myself, but for the others. That, and it was all I had left of my true identity.

 

There was a brief silence, accompanied only by the sound of the ship's engine beginning to come to life. Then the J-Train beeped, "Okay--all information stored in the Data Dump. No worries, boss, I got it all downloaded an' intact. Now buckle up--the both of you, cause we're solid gone."

 

I started to scramble into my seat and buckle up. Assumpta did the same and I noticed she looked a little nervous. I reached over and held her hand, smiling reassuringly as the ship started to lift slowly off the ground and pivot around to face the large hanger doors which were now slowly opening, revealing a dark cavern, barely big enough for the ship to fit through.

 

"Oscar," Assumpta said, warily.

 

"Don't worry, I'm sure the ship's done this before," I said to her. Then as an afterthought to the ship, "You HAVE done this before, haven't you?"

 

"Nope, absolutely not--BLAST OFF! YEEEEE-HAW!"

 

The sudden acceleration pressed us both back into our seats as the ship vaulted forward, barely waiting for the hanger doors to fully open. For a moment I thought the ship's nose would crunch up against the ceiling and we'd be stuck in the cave at an angle--if not blown to smithereens, but we were only in the tunnel for three seconds before flying out into the bright daylight and zipping over the waves as they crashed against the rocks below Dr. de Viaminima's mountain home. I glanced over long enough to see the ship circle the lab before passing through a cloudbank. Before I knew it, there was nothing to see but stars.

 

The pressure from the initial acceleration lessened and I looked forward again into the pitch darkness of space. Not 24 hours ago I was stranded in this unforgiving vacuum, lost, not knowing my past and uncertain about my future, contemplating death. Now, I knew more about myself than I had known in the past ten years. I had a devoted friend at my side, a really nice (if not a little quirky) spacecraft of my own and a wealth of knowledge that brought new promise for tomorrow. I hadn't felt this encouraged in a long time.

 

... little did I know things were going to get worse before they got better.

---

 

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