Spes
"No... My God, it can't BE! It's... it's..."
"I think the name you’re trying to remember this time is Moebius," said Gauss, grimly.
"Didn’t we kill you?" asked Oscar, wearily.
"Not yet. In my future, you will. I’ve always known that."
"Oh God, a time traveler," moaned Jon.
The old man grinned. "I imagine you won’t surrender?"
Vinny looked at the others. "No, I don’t think we will."
Moebius raised his staff, its orb throbbing with happy pink light, and pointed at the heroes with his other hand. "Get them. But do not harm them. Much."
"Go, go, go," barked a sergeant. The guards formed a circle around the group, but were somewhat reluctant about approaching them.
"Your men are as lacking in courage as their commander," snorted Jon. Joel opened his mouth, but Moebius gestured him to be patient.
The pink light suddenly filled the guards’ eyes and began leaking out of their mouths and ears. They started to scream, but stopped as abruptly as they had started. The pain in their faces changed into evil grins.
As the demonic guards moved in for an easy win, they began to be blasted by blue beams. Everyone looked for the shooter. The escape ship took off and moved towards them.
"Who’s that?" asked Gauss.
"Where’s Windsong?" asked Vinny, at the same time.
"Oh."
"When did she...?"
"She’s fast," mumbled Vinny.
Joel fired a fireball at the ship. It dodged, and slowly turned to face him, charging up the lasers. He cursed and fled, just before the beam disintegrated the platform he was standing on. Moebius had already disappeared.
More guards were pouring into the hangar. Oscar and Jon grabbed some guns from the dead guards and covered the doors as the ship landed behind them.
"Come on," shouted Windsong, higher than the ship’s exhaust.
Jon was the last one to get in the ship. Just as he backed past the door, a bullet scratched him. A small stream of blood began running down his left arm. "God damn these infidels," he cursed between teeth, and fired some more before the door closed.
"What happened to your arm?" asked Oscar, already seated, to the left of Windsong.
"Just a flesh wound, nothing to be concerned about."
"Jon!" Windsong jumped out of her seat. "My uncle’s troops use nanovirus in their bullets!"
Jon blinked and looked at his wound. "What? I feel perfectly healthy," he said, and fainted.
"Hmm, Windsong, you might want to sit down and pilot," observed Vinny, somewhat worried that they were quickly moving towards the hangar’s walls.
"I’ll handle that," said Gauss. He took the pilot’s seat, calmly fastened his seat belt, and hummed a little song as he pulled a lever slowly.
The ship missed the wall by inches, but appeared to accelerate by slingshot. It darted out of the hangar.
Oscar and Windsong were examining Jon’s wound. "This is unlike anything I’ve seen," commented Oscar.
"This virus is vicious. It will slowly eat his body from the inside. We have less than two days."
"What should we do?"
"We have to take him to a microwave nanoreprogrammer. Wendauer troops use it to disable the virus, when accidents happen."
"Wendwhat?" asked Vinny.
"Wendauer?!" cried Gauss, from the pilot’s seat.
Windsong looked at them as if they were retarded. "You know, my kingdom? Usurped and all?"
"Oh, that’s its name," mumbled Vinny.
"I know what Wendauer is," said Gauss, haughtily. "So you’re the one I’m supposed to marry?"
"Why, are you prince Gauss, of Gamezoha?" asked Windsong, ironically.
"Unfortunately."
Windsong stared blankly and said, "Oh."
"WHAT?!" cried Vinny. The others looked at him. "I mean, what?"
"God, I hate arranged marriages," muttered Gauss.
"What marriage, for God’s sake?"
Even unconscious, Jon seemed to flinch at this.
"You know? Rich people stuff you don’t know anything about?" Now even Windsong went back to talking to him condescendingly. Vinny started to get angry.
"Well, it seems our... cough, cough, ‘vows’ are meaningless now we’ve been both usurped, anyway," said Gauss.
"Good!" said Windsong. "When I’m queen, I’ll want to choose my own spouse." Vinny noticed her eyes flickered very quickly towards him as she spoke. Or was he getting too hopeful?
The ship suddenly stopped. "What happened?" asked Oscar.
"Well, we have to save Jon, don’t we?" said Gauss, as if that explained everything.
"Yes, and...?"
"This is the market space-city Hungarden. The Wendauer army has a 1200-men fort downtown. It’s bound to have a microwave nanoreprogrammer," finished Gauss.
"Wait, how do you know our secret installation here?" Windsong was somewhat alarmed.
"Wendauer. Population: sixteen hundred million. Army size: 21 million. Largest fleet in known universe. Major exports: spacecraft, magical artifacts, firearms. Imports: psitech, fuel, food," Gauss seemed to be going over an old lesson. His voice sounded highly bored. "Current ruler: King Adamus Windgust. Current status... war."
Windsong looked embarrassed. "Oh... It seems I’ve been an exile for too long."
Suddenly someone knocked on the ship’s door. A harsh voice shouted: "Hungarden customs! Please open the vehicle for inspection!"
Gauss touched a button, and the door started opening. Oscar moved closer to the entrance, holding his sword behind his back.
A cylindrical object was thrown into the ship. Oscar stepped back, as the object began leaking a strange blue gas. "Hey, guys..."
When they woke up, they had been captured. Again.
"Argh... my head..." moaned Vinny. He was in a cell with Windsong.
"Gas grenade. How rude."
Vinny stood up and asked: "Do you know where we are?"
Windsong shrugged. "The architecture is unfamiliar."
Vinny looked through the cell’s bars. They were physical, but seemed very resistant. Another cell was on the opposite side of the corridor and, sure enough, their friends were there, including Jon, still unconscious.
"Oscar? Are you-" Oscar interrupted Vinny’s question, gesturing that someone was approaching.
Two guards, one big and strong and drooling, the other skinny little and weasel-faced, walked to their cells. "My, my, our guests have recovered quickly," said the skinny one, with perhaps the most unpleasant voice Vinny had heard. The big one simply chuckled disgustingly. He seemed aroused. And continued to drool.
Vinny put on a smile. "Hey, can’t we talk? I mean..."
Windsong interrupted him. "I demand to be released from this cell!"
Vinny rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that will work."
And the guards opened the door.
Windsong said, "Very well!" and walked past the door. The skinny guard hit her shoulder with a long stick. The stick went "ZAP!" and Windsong collapsed. The big guy chuckled louder.
"Ok, now that was totally unnece-" began Vinny, but stopped as the guard pointed the zapping stick at him.
"Now, we will take you to the Boss," said the guard. "Please do try something funny," he added, caressing his weapon.
They were taken to a dark room, its size impossible to discern amidst darkness and smoke. A very fat man sat on a large armchair, two almost naked girls waving large feathers with more of a symbolic effect on the room’s heat. The man smoked two large cigars simultaneously, and stroked a six-legged white cat on his lap.
"Good day, gentlemen," he said, grinning. "I hope you haven’t been displeased by the five-star service my dear Wedge and Biggs provide. You were lucky a ‘friend’ told me you were valuable; otherwise, they would have just killed you and stolen the ship."
"Oh, nice, a mobster," said Vinny.
"I just take wealth from the wicked and give it to the outright evil. What’s wrong in that, I say. Now, meet ‘friend’."
Mickey the Cod stepped forward from the darkness.
"It’s you!"
"How are you, Vinny."
"We killed you," said Oscar. "Twice, I think."
"I got better," said Mickey.
"You newt. What do you want with us, besides of course revenge and money?"
The Boss answered. "Two of you are hunted usurped heirs, whose usurpers would pay a lot to see dead. The guy with furry arms has a very valuable stone. The winged one is still something of a mystery, but Governor Joel has pictures of him all over the city, with Wanted Dead beneath it. The other one... well, I suppose we could ask his Order for ransom, and then kill him."
"The Seraphic Order of the Arthurian Knights of Ineffable Dogma doesn’t pay ransom... I think," said Gauss. "As their Charter is based off the Fidelis Templar, their tenth article should state that... unless the second protocol... ooh, heady hurts."
The Boss stared at Gauss for a moment. "He’ll be dead in a little while, anyway. The point is, gentlemen, that I could profit immensely from your deaths."
"Something’s holding your hand, I imagine," said Oscar.
"Indeed! Let’s just say Governor Joel is... bad for business. If you help me in getting rid of him, I shall grant you safe passage."
"All of us?"
"Of course not. I still want some profit. The girl stays."
"That’s perfectly accepta-OOMPH!" Gauss was interrupted by Vinny’s elbow.
"What he meant was, that is totally unacceptable!"
The Boss frowned. "Then, you’ll have to die."
Biggs and Wedge moved their hands towards their holsters. And then Wedge began screaming, as his hand was no longer attached to his arm.
"What’s happening?!" cried the Boss. More silver whirling blades came from the darkness above them. One accidentally beheaded Mickey. Another hit one of the Boss’s concubines at waist height, cutting her in half. The other screamed and started to run.
Biggs’ body dropped, hit by five or six of the blades. Then a woman, wearing a silver ninja uniform, dropped onto the boss slashing at him with two swords in midair. She gracefully rolled as she hit the floor, and stood up touching Gauss and Vinny in their necks with the tip of the blades. They had crouched when the carnage started, so right now they were kneeling.
Behind the ninja, the Boss’s body oozed and gushed greenish blood. She appeared to pay no attention at her target anymore.
"Gauss," smiled the ninja. "What a pleasant surprise." She removed her blade from Gauss neck and pointed it in the direction Oscar was trying to sneak upon her from. The tip quivered a few millimeters from his neck.
"I thought I recognized that bloodlust... sister," said Gauss, standing up.
She kissed him.
"Ew... that’s your sister, dude... wait. THAT’S YOUR SISTER?!?"
Gauss stepped back. He glanced at Vinny. "Uhm. That’s considered just a friendly kiss in my culture. And yes, she’s my sister."
Vinny frowned. "Never become my friend, you hear me." He stood up. Gauss’s sister kept the blade touching, but never actually hurting, his neck even as he moved.
She looked at him, and smiled. "Who’s your pretty friend, brother?"
"Pretty?!" Gauss gasped. "What the hell is wrong with women? ... well, this is Vinny. That one you haven’t looked at yet is Oscar. Guys, this is my sister, Nike."
"She’s named after tennis shoes?"
"NEE-ke, damn you. Not the tennis."
"Amazing, brother. You still indulge in meaningless digressions in the face of danger."
"Amazing, sis, you’re still a conceited slut."
She burst out laughing. "Maybe, maybe. I’d love to insult you back, but this petty criminal has more servants, and I wouldn’t like to have to kill one hundred more. I might break a nail. Please follow me."
"We have to rescue some friends, first," said Oscar.
"My escape route passes through the prisoner ward." They followed her, but she was fast. All they could do was follow the blood trail.
They reached her as she hacked open Windsong’s cell. "Wow, not a single stain in her uniform," said Oscar, amazed.
"Who is this... girl?" asked Nike.
"Come on, sister, take your lusty palms off her. That’s Windsong of Wendauer."
Nike glared at him. "The tabloids’ reports of my private life are... slightly... exaggerated, brother."
"Heheh, I jest, sister," laughed Gauss, as he changed from human to near-human and put Jon over his shoulder.
"What, now he has a sister?" asked Windsong, confused.
"Psycho broad from hell," said Vinny. "Though I thought the same thing of you when we met."
"We still have to get into that fort," said Oscar, chewing his SpaceMac. They had stopped to get some disguises and supplies. Windsong and Gauss were doing the shopping, with the latter’s Black CrediCube. The others were planning their next move.
"What about the Hikari-No?" asked Vinny, scratching his arm. It was itching horribly.
"Here, let me help," said Nike, taking his arm and gently caressing it. Vinny blushed. It was the first time he saw her without the ninja uniform. She was cat-like dazzling, even with an aura of arrogance even stronger than Gauss’s. She brought to mind the word ‘tight’ for no good reason.
"The Hikari-No will have to wait. Jon’s fever is getting out of control."
"Right. Well, all we have to do is get inside our enemy’s stronghold, defeat Joel and probably many others, get a machine we don’t know how to use, and then get out, and then leave the planet."
Oscar nodded: "So that’s our plan?" Vinny groaned, in reluctant agreement. "I probably can hook to the microwave thingy, if necessary," added Oscar.
Windsong joined them at the table. "Where’s Gauss?" Oscar asked her.
"He’s out putting our things in the car."
"Oh, now we have a car, do we?"
"Well... two."
They looked out. One black Mercedes and one red Porsche were parked outside. Gauss could be seen receiving the keys from a widely smiling shopkeeper.
Vinny turned. "You know, this is not fair. I’ve always wanted a Porsche. You people buy one as if it’s a pair of socks."
"Well, I suppose it’s not meant to be fair," concluded Windsong, drinking a milk shake.
The group was outside the fort. "You see that door? It’s virtually indestructible," said Windsong. "Thyberium. We have to convince the people inside to let us in."
"Well, that can’t be too hard," said Oscar.
"They’re in lock-down. They will only open that door to the Governor, which is Joel, or maybe to a prostitute."
"Or maybe it can."
"I mean it. Pizza, plumbing, no such thing would work. The only service a barracks with one thousand starved soldiers requires regularly is..."
"I get the picture, but what can we do?"
"Windsong’s too young, and anyway they’d recognize her," said Vinny.
"What about Nike?" asked Oscar.
"She didn’t want to come with us," said Gauss. "She said she still had things to do in the city."
"What is she doing here anyway?"
"She... was reluctant to tell. It involves my... our usurpation. She always wanted the throne for herself, of course, so I’m not sure. But the coup damaged her politically almost as much as it did for me."
"So who’s going to be our decoy?" Everyone looked at Gauss.
"... What? ...why are you looking at me?"
"Look, it’s not a big deal."
"You must be joking."
"It’s not as if we want to see you cross-dressing."
"Can’t we hire a local?"
"We shouldn’t get civilians in the crossfire."
"But..."
"Do it for Jon."
"That’s not very convincing."
"But convincing is exactly what we wouldn’t be," said Oscar.
"Yeah, they are too manly," added Windsong.
Gauss glared. "You know, you’re insulting me."
Windsong rolled her pretty eyes. "Well, I guess I could say they are ruffians, while you are a delicate gentleman."
"You’re still calling me a sissy."
"Just do it, ok?"
"... ... ... Whatever."
For Gauss’s sake, we’ll just skip to when they’re already in the barracks.
"Pleah," spat Gauss. "This lipstick thing... ew..." He turned to his friends. "So, where are my clothes?"
Windsong looked at Vinny. "Er... we forgot them in the car. Sorry."
Gauss gasped. "You mean I’ll have to keep wearing this skirt...?"
Windsong couldn’t help but grin. "It doesn’t look so bad."
"Of course it doesn’t, I’m still me. It’s just... degrading."
Oscar stopped the argument. "Here’s the microwave nanoreprogrammer. Let’s heal him." He and Vinny pulled the machine’s screen over Jon. "Going in three, two, one..."
A bright white light poured over Jon’s body. Oscar’s arm was elbow-length into the many tubes and cables of the machine, trying to manipulate it into doing what he wanted it to do.
"Gauss... I know the skirt thing was bad, but now you’re undressing a dead soldier, that’s sick, man," said Vinny, faking disgust.
Gauss glared at him, trying to make Vinny’s head explode with sheer willpower. "You know I’m just getting some decent clothes, you..."
"Cut it out," barked Oscar. "I’m trying to concentrate here."
Windsong pulled Vinny aside. "Vinny... I have to tell you something..."
And then a great explosion rocked the building. Guards began to pour from the doorways and the new hole in the wall.
"Joel!" cried Oscar, as he saw his old nemesis. "How did you..." and then he saw Nike, almost an accessory of Joel’s clothing, hugging him provocatively.
A hologram of Moebius appeared in midair. "Your information was most accurate and appreciated. The throne is, of course, yours now." It turned to face Oscar and company. "As for you... enough of you. You may die now," and it vanished.
Gauss examined his sister. She glanced, indicating something in Royal Family secret body language. Was she still a friend, in reality? Or was she trying to confuse him? In fact... was she *ever* a friend?
Would he be able to kill his beloved sister, if need be?
Jon was dreaming.
He flies past numbers. They are green. Numbers, hiragana, Cyrillic. Now geometric forms. Data streams through his mind. "God... give me strength..."
He understands nothing, yet he moves through the data with ease. He feels his brain giving way to a cold, calculating machine mind. "What... is... going on..." A pain becomes intense. He suddenly feels smarter. He can understand, perceive things he never could before. And then it’s gone.
"465*-5*/5/284987-/-+555/=x" asks the machine.
"What?"
"In terms carbon unit understands: have you tasted the fruit?"
Jon stares blankly.
"Carbon body = shared with machine mind. Carbon mind cares + carbon mind acts against machine mind = machine mind deletes carbon mind. Terms = ~subject to negotiation."
"Aberration... God’s eyes" screams Jon, as he feels his mind confused once again. And then, it stops. He wonders if anything changed.
"Carbon body = insufficient. X = solution. X = augment with embedded nanomachinery."
Jon dreams, yet he feels his body shaking from inside.
"Carbon body - damage it has endured = survivable. Carbon unit + grateful = ‘should be’CLASS $PROPOSITION."
"What... are you..." Jon feels his life draining away.
"Information network, universe, iterated trillions of times = emergence of machine mind. More = machine mind does not know. Universe + MOEBIUSCLASS unit = danger, machine mind + intercepted communications = knows..."
And then there was light.
Jon stood up.
"On your knees," cried a guard.
Jon looked at him. The guard fired. The bullet ripped Jon’s body, but the wound closed instantly. This triggered a massive firefight. Vinny’s arm jumped and dragged him up. It flashed and formed a shield around him and Windsong. Gauss leaped over the guards and onto Joel, shifting to battleform in midair. His claws dug deep into the villain’s chest, his silver wings reflecting the blaster’s fire wounding nearby soldiers. He ignored Joel, pinned under his now massive feet, and grabbed Nike.
"You..."
"Sorry, brother, but you will have to wait to see if I’m a baddie or not," she said, and hit him with an open palm. Gauss was zapped, and released her. She slipped away with ease, killing barehanded a guard that tried to stop her.
Oscar noticed the guards weren’t shooting him, afraid to damage the precious microwave nanoreprogrammer. He focused. "This is so similar to a teleportation drive," he thought. "Perhaps I can... YES!"
Suddenly they were outside. Oscar released the nanoreprogrammer.
"Teleport it to the fort’s fission reactor," said Windsong.
"We can’t kill the whole city..." began Oscar.
"No, remember, thyberium walls? Gauss in a skirt?" said Windsong, smiling.
Oscar grinned.
They were at the MacDonald’s again. "Here... this newspaper says Hungarden has revolted against the Wendauers, now there is no more fort," said Oscar.
"Bad for my kingdom, but this may actually help my getting back my throne," commented Windsong.
Vinny chewed his SpaceMac desperately. "mmph higari-do mmph mmph?"
"Yes, now we can go after the hikari-no... hopefully Joel won’t show up this time," said Oscar, shuddering. "I really doubt he died in the fort. I... feel... he’s alive."
"Will anyone ever tell me what happened?" complained Jon. "If I’m not mistaken, I now share the body with an artificial form of heathen god-hated life, I nearly died, and I crushed completely a lamppost I walked into."
"Well, I did feel an alien presence in the nanoreprogrammer as it messed around with your nanovirus... which now seem to have become benign nanobots," said Oscar.
While Jon absorbed this, Vinny suddenly turned to Windsong. "What was that you were going to tell me, there in the fort?"
Windsong appeared to blush slightly. "Nothing important," she said. "Really."
"You know what I’ve been thinking?" asked Vinny. "I remembered right then something you said long ago, in our previous encounter. About a lost little sister."
Windsong jumped up. "My God, how could I forget?" She raced outside. The others went after her, but when they got to where the cars were parked, only the Mercedes was still there. She was gone.
Vinny sighed. They were four, again. "Oh well, after the Hikaru-ko we go-" and stopped. There was a female - yes, very much female - figure leaning against their car. She seemed surprisingly uninterested in him. She stared at Jon.
"Brother Krigsley? The Order hath sent me."
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