System Down! System Down!

---

Jon looked at the immensity before his eyes. God’s Creation. Sometimes... sometimes he almost believed... felt that the world was not a miserable heap of sin and suffering, a test for the truly faithful, but that every single particle of it sang to the Lord’s glory, that the Creation was meant to be joyous, that man was blessed with free will.

Blessed with the possibility of sin?

Was man’s craftiness God-given? Were man’s creations deserving of any name other than feeble mockeries of the Lord’s own?

Miriam had an answer for this, but he wasn’t sure he could understand it... or like it.

"Your ethnic group rode into Christianity not that many centuries ago. What were you, before that? Heathens? You had a set of beliefs, and it sufficed. But when embracing the feverish truth, you were fascinated. In perspective, you sacrificed the most for less in your holy wars."

"We had so much to make up for. Heathens we were... Thor, Fenrir, Hel... we were foolish."

"And you think your order was born out of this conversion? ‘St.’ Jorgen, first grandmaster of the SOAKID... also known as the Chieftain of Thunder, Chosen of the Valkyries, Raider of Luft. He wouldn’t know who Christ was. Your ancestor."

"Lies! St. Jorgen saw St. Paul during a battle against the Franks... and converted his tribe."

"He lost the battle and had to submit his culture. The Nibelungen had no qualms about renaming themselves the Seraphic Order to survive..."

"I have no idea what you’re talking about!" shouted Jon, to his surprise, aloud.

His friends stared at him, nervously.

He half-smiled at them in what he thought was a reassuring fashion and looked away.

Stars... filling the darkness with order and light...

Gauss was piloting the ship when a yellow light started beeping annoyingly. He reached out and flipped a switch.

"We’ve got company, guys," he said, wondering if he should try to communicate with the threat.

He got visual contact. An unmarked fighter of Gamezohan production was coming in fast from 6 o’clock. They had obviously been locked in, and that meant inevitable destruction. Only three pilots in the entire Galaxy could do the Gargulean Barrel Loop, the only feasible laser-dodging maneuver in dogfight circumstances.

Gauss, fortunately, was one of them.

The ship spun around, firing at the incoming ship, inertia dampers overloading until they had absorbed as much energy as they could, when it was released to the hyperdrive thrusters. The resulting deceleration led to an impossibly low speed in hyperspace, yet the hyperdrive warp module had just temporarily burned out, theoretically locking the ship in the parallel dimension. As a result, for a brief moment, the ship ceased existing in either dimension. When it came back, it would be right behind the chaser, in for an easy kill. The Gargulean Barrel Loop could only be defeated by the Triple Cross of Josh, and there was just one pilot in the Galaxy was skilled enough to do that.

Unfortunately, the chaser was that guy.

"Wh-?" Gauss’s question was interrupted by the explosion of the console before him.

Oscar quickly plugged himself to the ship as it plunged down into a green planet’s atmosphere. He transmitted a distress signal and tried to control the ship’s descent, even as its hull began to burn off.

Vinny held Windsong closer to him. The girl was visibly frightened. Jon glanced back to see if Joel was properly braced for impact. The demon glared at him. Jon winced.

The ship made a long trail of fire in the sky, missed a mountain by meters and then dug a long ditch in the jungle it fell in. As dirt rained down on the white-hot hull, two slightly comical-looking robots hovered out of their compartments and began spraying their tiny fire extinguishers at the flames.

"Am I dead?" Jon wondered. Noticing a suspicious absence of angels, trumpets and bliss, he concluded he probably wasn’t.

He opened his eyes to see a long steel pipe sticking out of his chest. He pulled it off, groaning, and the two-inch wide crater is his chest closed in a few seconds. He lowered his head in silent thanksgiving. "You’re welcome," said Miriam, somewhat sarcastically. This was lost on Jon, however, to whom the boundaries between creed and truth had definitely collapsed into a hazy maze in the last days.

He stood up, trying to regain balance and stop shaking. He looked around, and heard Windsong calling his name hysterically.

She was in Vinny’s arms, crying. He had protected her from the worst of the impact, and was losing a scary amount of blood. "Do something," she said, "please don’t let him die."

Jon touched Vinny uncertainly, and Miriam understood what she had to do. A thin liquid metal sheet oozed out of Jon’s hand and covered Vinny’s wounded back. The bleeding was stopped, and the torn flesh was slowly being healed.

"He’ll be fine," Jon said, repeating Miriam’s words as they appeared in his mind. "The painkillers will require some sleeping off, and when he wakes up, he won’t even remember what happened to him."

Windsong nodded and rested her tired head against her fiancée’s chest. His heart was beating, slowly yet reassuringly, and she was soon asleep too.

Jon walked to the pilot’s seat. Gauss was gurgling blood, a large piece of glass halfway through his throat. He was instinctively trying to enter battleshape, but the seatbelts weren’t allowing his form to expand. Jon understood this and pressed the button to release the belt, but the system was malfunctioning. He drew his sword and with a swift strike released Gauss, who immediately entered a biped dragon form. He pulled out the glass shard with a wet plop, and the wound closed almost as fast as Jon’s had.

"Where is brother Oscar?" asked Jon.

"You... saved my life," said Gauss, changing back to human form. He was staring at Jon.

"My duty," said Jon. "The Knights of the Hospital would have done..."

"Yes," interrupted Gauss, "but... can’t you see? You saved a dragon’s life."

"Well..."

"When you save a human, he owes you the next few years of his life. But I... I owe you eternity."

"Brother, you’re exaggerating it. You’ve been saved before."

"Not this way. I could have saved myself alone, these other times. Right now... I would’ve died. Lost eternity."

Jon was somewhat embarrassed. He hadn’t seen this almost.... inhuman side of Gauss before.

"You wouldn’t know, would you? You have your ways to cope with mortality. As I see it," Gauss’s eyes seemed to flash as he spoke, "I could save you life a million times and it would still be short of infinity."

"Well, I rather like my life..."

"Of course you do, it’s the one you have. But I must repay you."

"I require no..."

"Any wish you make, I shall fulfill."

"That’s a rather strong promise, brother."

"My complete trust can’t begin to pay my debt-"

Jon collapsed to his knees. Miriam had involuntarily shouted in his brain. "What?!" he cried. Images flashed in his mind, not quite images but memories of events that he never witnessed. Cities ablaze, tentacles enveloping galaxies, a hope shimmering in the distance. "Jon this future =..." Miriam was having a hard time focusing. "New data... outcome clearer... machine mind wise in hiding part of itself in you... I... us... it has been found. The Enemy has taken it over... calling itself... DAMOCLES..." And for a brief moment, Jon could see.

A king. A throne upon a pyramid upon a city upon a hill. A champion and his steed. A messenger of God, the Grail raised in his hands.

The feeling of satori gave way to the desperate realization that that had only the slimmest chances of happening, against...

Void. Hungry devouring destroying obliterating ceasing nullifying- humanity in adoration of its devourer- enslaved- serpents-tentacle-DAMNATION...

He screamed.

Oscar found himself still in his seat, when he woke up. It wasn’t in the ship, however, but hanging upside down in a nearby tree. He was covered in slimy impact cocoon goo. He spat the revolting thing, released his seatbelt, and fell.

He walked in direction of the fallen ship. His friends were around a fire.

"Oscar. We were wondering whatever happened to you," said Gauss.

"Just a tree. Nothing thrilling, I’m afraid."

"I’m glad to see you, Oscar," said Windsong. "Looky! Marshmallows! We had them all along in the ship’s armory."

"In the armory?" asked Oscar, accepting the flaming white candy.

"Go figure," said Vinny. His face was all sticky with marshmallow. "Maybe it’s an incendiary weapon or something."

"How’s the ship?" Oscar asked Gauss.

"Dumb and dumber there (he pointed at the two hovering robots) can fix it in a few days, but we’ll need some spare chemicals, even if they manage to salvage enough metal to repair the hull."

Oscar frowned.

"From above, this planet seemed to be mostly jungle. I didn’t see any signs of civilization," he added.

"Yes. Shipwrecked in a natural paradise. Very bad," said Gauss. Oscar couldn’t say if he was being sarcastic.

He looked at Vinny and Windsong, who were playing at smear-each-other-with-sticky-candy. "These two, at least," he thought, "haven’t a worry in life." He sighed, and went to offer Joel something to eat before sleeping.

Jon didn’t sleep that night. He kept watching the stars. Miriam had gone silent, leaving him lonelier than he had ever been before.

The next morning, they went looking for water. Windsong stayed back at the ship sleeping. She had tried to hide it, but the day before had been very stressful and tiring. Even their noisy preparations weren’t able to wake her up. Vinny’s attempts at kissing her good morning went almost unnoticed. She smiled briefly with her eyes shut and zzz’ed again.

They took Joel with them, properly tied up, and left Dumb & Dumber taking care of the wrecked ship. They had huge blowtorches and strength to bend thyberium tubes, so they reasoned she (the ship) would be pretty safe.

After a short search, Gauss (whose jungle guerrilla classes weren’t just for show) led them to the nearest body of water - a nice lake of warm, somewhat dark water. Having taken no showers after the crash, they were pretty miserable in appearance, covered in soot, dirt, oil and their own blood. They tied Joel to a tree (after gagging him so he would just shut the hell up), undressed and entered the delicious warmth of the water.

Vinny was getting a cigarette when Oscar playfully took the pack from his hand. "Hey!" he said, with half-faked annoyance. As he tried to grab it, Oscar dodged him and tossed it over to Gauss. After failing to get his cigarettes back a few times, Vinny dived. Gauss looked around, trying to guess where Vinny would come from, when Vinny jumped upon his back, grabbing his cigarettes from the prince’s raised hand.

"Hah!" cried Vinny triumphantly, until he realized the focus of all attention had shifted from tobacco to the Amazon warriors (who, according to narrative tradition, weren’t wearing much) that had just appeared among the trees. The bathing heroes blushed, especially Vinny, who was holding Gauss in what he now realized was an easily misunderstood position.

"Uhm. Greetings," said Gauss, discreetly elbowing Vinny away.

The leader of the Amazons, apparently chosen because of her larger bosom, raised a lance. It had a barbed tip and did not look very arousing, save in a very specialized way. She said:

"You have profaned the Sacred Lake of the Maidens!"

"Oops," mumbled Oscar. "So much for pleasant bath."

Gauss weighed getting out of the water naked against holding a conversation from a thirty-yard distance. Not being able to discern the degree of mysoandry of the Amazons, he decided to go for show. He shifted to full dragon form. He wasn’t very big, but he was large enough to inspire enough awe in the Amazons to change their reactions favorably.

Instead of being taken aback, however, they seemed to bow before him.

Taken, not without a hint of a threat, to the warrior women’s tribe, they learned that they had a legend (yeah, yeah) about a savior, a dragon (yeah, yeah) who would destroy the evil Duchess Salyra (yeah, ye-WHAT?! cried Vinny). Joel had been dragged along grudgingly. The Amazons insisted on sitting him on an anthill. Yes, it was entertaining.

In their cell/quarters, our heroes were having a fierce argument...

"THE Salyra? As in bathe-in-little-girls’-tears Salyra? As in salystic, the opposite of masochistic?" Vinny seemed somewhat upset by the prospect of fighting pure, legendary evil.

"It’s our duty. We must take every opportunity to slay the wicked," said Jon, but his heart wasn’t truly in it. His voice sounded hollow.

Gauss seemed pensive. "I’ve seen her in court, once or twice. Not a Gamezohan duchess," he added, "she has an independent ducat. Always a luxurious convoy, outshining most other nobles’. Always the sex-toy bodyguards, as if she wasn’t a powerful enough sorceress to defend herself. A role model for my sister, if I recall properly," he added, with a slight smile.

Oscar asked, "how old are you, anyway, Gauss? You look young, but you’re also a darn big dragon when you want to be one."

Gauss shrugged. "Part of being an Imperial Silver Dragon. Remember when we met? I was doing my Eighteenth Trial... obviously on my eighteenth birthday."

Vinny’s eyes widened. "That young? Well, you look like it... as a human... not to mean you’re not human... well, you aren’t... nothing’s wrong with that, I’m not quite human myself... anyway... I thought a dragon at your age would be a baby or something."

Gauss shrugged again. "Yes, well, I’ll look like this for the next few aeons. I hope you don’t have a problem with that."

Vinny scratched his head, a little embarrassed. He couldn’t help but notice one of his "I’m-not-a-pedophile" arguments had just vanished. Then he remembered Windsong’s little gasps and... and he was ashamed he didn’t regret any of it.

And then the village was raided and they were captured. Yes, lazy here. The guard had mean stun guns and soporific gas grenades and everything else a well-prepared feudal guard party needs to break in an Amazon tribe to capture an angel (?), wolf guy (?), cyber knight (?) and dragon...

Jon woke up in a cell. He tore down the wall and crushed the skull of a guard that tried to reach his stun gun too slowly.

He slashed his way through the castle, until reaching the Duchess’s Chamber of Rule. He kicked down the giant double doors, trying not to think about the little pornographic carvings in them. He couldn’t help but wonder "how many holes can a... gah... must not think..." and hit his head with his hyperstrength, breaking his skull, but it healed instantly so he just winced.

Recollecting his thoughts. He was in a large throne room-style throne room. There was a long red carpet, going from him to the throne. Yes, there was a throne. On it, sat the most astoundingly beautiful vile temptress he’d seen, and that had been a pretty entertaining quest thus far in that aspect. She had the slickest black hair, all the way to the floor, covering tantalizingly her sensuous, pale white body, mixing with the shadows around her, her firm, grabbable... uh... black lips, strong dark, purplish make-up, her long fingers passing teasingly, ruffling the hair of her two ‘dogs’, one on her left, Vinny, one on her right, Gauss, both on all fours, wearing nothing but spiked collars, obviously under the wench’s mind control... Oscar standing behind her, right hand holding a massive halberd, left one extended for the sorceress to lean her head against.

"So, little crusader... you have a pretty strange mind," whispered Salyra. Jon shivered. So it was Miriam who had protected him.

"Release them."

"Why don’t you join me?" she smiled an omni-corrupting smile. All that was male in Jon wanted to give in. All that was warrior-PRIEST in him... saved him. He began walking in her direction, with clearly violent objectives.

"Get him," she said, pushing gently Vinny and Gauss in Jon’s direction. They charged against their friend. They leaped. Jon grabbed both by their throats in mid-air.

He looked at their eyes. Vinny’s were animal eyes. The beast inside him was given free rein by the sorceress. Gauss’s metallic, silvery eyes showed an intense internal struggle. The dragon’s will was making a final stand, withholding from the alien control his most secret powers. Neither showed any chance of freeing themselves anytime soon. Jon lowered his head and grasped their necks until they were unconscious.

"Get him," repeated the sorceress, this time with concern in her voice. Oscar took off, flying to the room’s highest levels, and then soared down, halberd extended, upon Jon. The paladin stopped the blade between his palms, broke it, and looked at Oscar’s eyes, full of anger, as he had never seen them before. He raised the shard of metal in his hand.

He threw it.

Salyra gasped, and blood came out of her mouth. She looked down at the metal that had cleaved her beautiful torso, and tried to utter a curse. She didn’t have time. She died, and her body assumed its true age - becoming nothing but dust.

Oscar landed, and Jon knew he had been freed. "...thanks, Jon," said Oscar. He looked at Vinny and Gauss, and then at himself. "Ugh. We really need some clothes."

"Yes, you do," agreed Jon. He grasped the moment: it wasn’t common for him nowadays to be sure of anything!

They were surrounded by guards with stun guns. And then the palace was raided by Amazons, finally united by the long awaited coming of the Dragon. They were captured by the Amazons. Word sucks so much it’s complaining the last three sentences had passive verbs.

In the Amazon tribe, a party was being held for them. Apparently Windsong had been found by the Amazons or vice-versa, because she was there - much to Vinny’s relief and joy.

"Where is Joel?" asked Oscar to Laissa, leader of the Amazons.

"The witch’s soldiers took him. Wasn’t he imprisoned with you?"

"No. When you raided the palace..."

"No. We didn’t find any prisoners alive, except you four."

"Maybe he’s dead," said Vinny cheerfully, slapping Oscar’s back and holding some bizarre tropical drink that was stronger than previously assessed.

"I’m sure he isn’t," said Oscar, sadly.

Jon was looking wistfully at the stars. He seemed to do that a lot lately. Gauss tried to talk to him. "Hail knight. I have good news, we got the chemicals for our ship from Salyra’s palace. Dumb and Dumber are making the final adjustments right now. We can leave... if you feel like it."

Jon just nodded. He hadn’t heard a word.

Laissa called everyone’s attention. She announced:

"Our prophecy was fulfilled! The dragon saved us!" Everyone cheered. "We will live in peace now! Thanks to the mighty Dragon!" Everyone cheered. "And now, to complete the prophecy, the Dragon must impregnate me!" The Amazons cheered. Vinny too, but he was too drunk to count.

"Come on, Gauss, get down from that tree," said Oscar.

"She isn’t that ugly, either," said Vinny. Windsong hit him with a mallet pulled out of thin air.

"You can’t stay up there forever," said Oscar.

"And what’s the problem, anyway?" asked Vinny. "Are you gay or something?"

"It’s easy for you to speak," said Gauss angrily from the treetop. "You aren’t the might heavenly stud prophesized to... ugh..."

"Don’t make me fly up there, Gauss," said Oscar.

Windsong intervened in Gauss’s favor. "He’s right, you know. A prince can’t go having heirs in any backwater planet like this. Specially," she added, maliciously, "when he’s such a pureblood stud!"

"Oh yeah, blood pool, regency, a scion’s link to his land, inheritance... those bloody things you were trying to teach me," said Vinny.

"Exactly."

"Oh well, let’s just help him get away from this planet then. Who wants to live in a tropical paradise," and then Vinyn cried.

"There, there," Windsong patted his shoulder. "I’ll give you this planet as our wedding gift. The Wendauer army will be here as soon as they hear of the Duchess’s fall."

They were in space again, leaving Salyra Ducat System B.

The unmarked Gamezohan fighter closed in...

Gauss gambled it all. Only one man could do the Triple Cross, right?

"Ok, you’re totally going to kill us this time, but I have to know. Why are you doing this, Whutty?"

Radio silence. But then:

"I never wanted to kill you. You just used the Barrel Roll and I had to answer or die. I taught you too well, your Highness. As always, when I do the right thing I fuck up."

"So you’re here to help us!" said Gauss, his sudden happiness startling his friends. He covered the mouthpiece and whispered them: "My wingman, from fighter pilot training. You see, my kingdom has this notion fighter pilots are the knights of the future, jousting and stuff." He turned to their new escort. "So, where you’re taking us?"

"The Baronat of Halak. Gamezohan loyalists are exiling there. Your father’s generals, all the Silver Dragoon Guard..."

"My father! Is he safe?"

"... we’d better talk about that later. He’s alive, but the details... require privacy."

Gauss pondered this for a moment.

"Anyway, Raketemensch. It feels good flying side by side with you again, buddy."

The reply took a while. "Well, I certainly could think of many ways things could be worse," Whutty conceded. "The sort of thing that precedes the great misfortunes of my miserable life, that’s it."

Gauss smiled. "Semper felix, eh?"

"You know. ‘Her’. Stuff. You know how it is, having a ‘Her’."

Gauss’s smile disappeared. "The Baronat of Halak! Her! There! HER! Aaagh," and ran to toilet to be sick.

Oscar assumed the controls. The radio beeped. A small, unhappy chuckle was heard. "Heheheh, so he still reacts like that..."

It needn’t be said how puzzled everyone else was.

They were received with a small fanfare. The Baronat of Halak, Gauss explained, wasn’t very important. The Baron (Her stepfather) was a drunken schemer, dealing mostly with small-time peripheral banditry - although he once was an important corsair in Gauss’s father’s service, a few decades ago.

They were dressed formally, Gauss finally getting rid of the Wendauer soldier uniform he had been wearing since Hungarden. He chose the gray sub-commander-in-chief uniform, representing his willingness to muster forces against the usurpers - whoever, besides Moebius, they may be.

There was a great party for him.

Jon met some knights of his order - but they seemed reluctant to speak with him, in fact, they avoided him like the plague. The only one who spoke to him was a Silberwyrmritter of Gamezoha, a tall, dark man followed everywhere by a light rain of black rose petals - his name was Klot. He said:

"Greetings, brother in arms."

"Do you know me?" asked Jon, suspicious.

"More than you’d think. Ever heard of... Damocles?" Klot started to walk away.

"Wait," said Jon. He caught up with the SWR. "What do you know of Damocles?"

"The Lord fears it. He might be replaced."

Jon looked skeptical.

"But you’re not ready, are you?" Klot sighed. "Young paladins, all you think about is the Grail. You never," he added, pushing Jon in the chest, "look for it here."

"I... have seen the Virgin," said Jon, for no reason.

Klot beckoned Jon to move closer. He whispered in his ear. "But has she seen you?"

Jon’s eyes widened. Klot began backing away. He became shrouded in shadows, until he disappeared. Jon didn’t care. He knew that message wasn’t directed to him.

To say the Baron was a fat man was to speak the truth. Really. But it also meant having one’s legs broken. "My dear prince," he said, faking delight, "welcome to my humble court!"

He was being nasty. No matter how ‘humble’ his court was, the royal family of Gamezoha followed a strict policy of no-needless-luxury. They had all the comfort, of course, but beheading golden-egg-laying geese for fun was considered Wendaurian and bad taste.

"Thank you for your reception, Baron. My father would be pleased."

"My dear boy, I wish only to please you..."

"Thank you again. Your daughter...?"

The Baron grinned. "Always the direct one, eh prince? She’s in the gardens."

Gauss left the Baron, who grinned and grinned in what, were his senses not clouded by yes, it is, it is indeed love! Gauss would consider a suspicious manner.

The gardens surprised him. White-leaved oaks of Gamezoha Prime! But they couldn’t grow anywhere other than the Silberwald... And he remembered the gossip in the court, about how Her love would cause any plant to be ashamed of dying and withering... how Her smile would raise the dead and how Her voice would kill a mortal.

"Hi, Gauss."

He didn’t die, but fainted.

(Let’s mention that there is indeed magic in Her, lest people start thinking Gauss is just a big sissy.)

He woke up with Her face before him. He wished he were dead. He wished he were blind. He wished he could... his thoughts killed one another as each considered what the other wished to do with her a monstrous defilation of the Holy.

Finally he spoke: "Krystal..."

She smiled. He would sacrifice his life eternal for her love. "Wernher, you big sissy. (Ok, maybe it is general belief that he is a big sissy) How are you?"

He smiled too. "Much better now," he said, softly. "Now I’m with you."

(Oh my God, she’s blushing, what do I do?!)

"You’ll never give up, will you?" There was some reproach in her voice.

He stood up, holding her hands.

(... what?! I’m holding her hands?! GAAAH pleasegoddontletmethrowup...)

"You’re perfect, you know that? I know you use spells to be uglier, just to avoid blinding men by accident," he laughed softly.

She blushed some more. "You’re perfect too, Wernher. What do your tutors call it? The seven S’s? Statesman, spy, scholar, strategist, spiritual leader, soldier, superstar. You excel in all these. And that’s exactly the problem."

He lowered his head. He knew what she’d say, because it had been said many times since he first met her in the Baronat, ten years ago.

"You are the purest dragon blood in the universe. My parents... God be with them... were purest fey, and so am I. We may spurn mortality... but we were created to, eventually, save it. Should we ever let our love... run its course..." she hugged him.

(OUR love? She said it! ... she’s hugging me! mustn’t... faint...)

He completed his phrase. "Damnation... death... but" he raised her head to look into her eyes and regretted it, as he nearly died. "I’d risk it all... but I couldn’t live knowing that you... you’d..." he started to cry.

"Don’t cry, Wernher. I feel the same way..." She tried to laugh. "Of course I’d condemn all mankind to eternal suffering for you, silly."

And it went on and on, self-pity and (unwillingly) chaste love. Sick, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, in the party, Vinny was using a spoon to fight off the women hitting on him. When he thought he was well-hidden beneath a table, he recognized certain ninja high heels.

"Hello, handsome," said Nike, raising him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Goddamnit, I hate this time of the month."

He noticed Nike was holding a beautiful blonde (and he immediately tried to stop adjectives like tight and firm from making the way from his brain to his lower torso).

"Meet my girlfriend, Katje."

"Gah," said Vinny, wondering if biting his tongue and sucking the blood would reduce the ‘symptoms’ of his arousal.

Gah, indeed. He noticed now how much she looked like Gauss. The same cold snow hair, the same vampire suntan, the same delicate features (only better because women are actually supposed to have delicate features, unlike Gauss, who’s just girly), the same metallic eyes - diamonds, he remembered, when in near-human form. Like Gauss, she was somewhat shorter than average - which made strangely erotic the way she passed her arm around Katje, a very tall, Netherlandese-looking woman with all-in-capitals BOOBIES! and LEGS!!!

Vinny was contemplating rather seriously self-mutilation, but was saved by Oscar, who appeared suddenly and pulled him away.

"We have to go. I’ve seen Joel. I smell a trap."

"Do you think that friend of Gauss’s?..."

"Whutty? I don’t think so, he’s just there moping and nurturing a drink in a dark corner. That’s hardly suspicious."

"I’ll call Gauss and Jon. Find Windsong."

Windsong was at home. Even though she was the heir of the enemy’s throne, she was also a) a guest, b) an exile and c) pretty hot, which was enough for her to fit in the Halakian court. She was drinking some more sparkling Fuzziette than normal and hearing girly gossip more eagerly than necessary, but she had longed for the life of royalty and this was satisfying her immensely.

So she obviously was upset when Vinny showed up and carried her away.

Oscar tried to go into the garden, but a Halakian guard stopped him. He decided to try again later and find Jon. Soon he was joined by Vinny (carrying Windsong in his strong *furry* arms :p).

"Where’s Gauss?"

"He’s in the garden, but we can’t go there." Just as he finished speaking, Oscar saw Gauss and Krystal entering the room, applauded and blushing, the two young Galaxy’s Sweethearts (but ah! so cursed, which made ratings higher and sold even more).

The clapping was interrupted by a scream.

The Baron collapsed, very, very, very dead.

That’s it for tonight, kids! But don’t forget to watch the next episode for more titties- ^_^; for the answer to our new GRILLION DOLLAR QUESTION!!!!!: Who killed the fat treacherous stepfatherly ex-corsair criminal Baron Harkonnen (I mean, Halak)!? Place your bets - Nike, Whutty, Klot, Joel, one of the heroes... who knows! I certainly don't...

---

 

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