A few brief things you should know about Irwin:

DISCLAIMER: May not all be true.

• Is not a ninja.
• Can't really draw. Or write. Or in fact do anything creative. Is just somehow able to pass herself off as creative by being an excellent liar.
• Has a terrifying acute sense of smell (for a human), can pick up people cooking on the other sides of buildings, recognise people behind her without seeing or hearing them, and follow people down the street by their cologne. But to make up for this near-useless talent, is short-sighted, and has no auditory acuity, sometimes having difficulty telling what people sitting next to her are saying.
• Speaks four languages, three badly, knows odd words in dozens more.
• Plays six different musical instruments, also mostly badly.
• Has an excellent singing voice.
• Is stylish beyond belief.
• And gorgeous,
• Is in fact, the ultimate Renaissance woman.
• (And is also exceedingly vain.)
• Is a pagan, and has been for seven years, but still cannot decide which type. Fluctuates between asatruar and udaghan, and therefore is probably technically a seiðrkona. Does not expect you to understand any of those words.
• May well like yaoi too much for the mental health of herself and those around her.
• Likes progressive metal and Britney Spears.
• Has a BSc in Pharmacology, and is therefore extremely smart and has SCIENCE! powers. However, requests for a Schild Plot will be met with extreme force. Is not only qualified to test drugs on animals, but actually has the necessary english Home Office license to do so. Has been cursed (ineffectively) by a radical vegan animal rights pagan at a conference before as a result of this.
• Likes cats, but is allergic to them.
• Can write a Welshman. Has in fact successfully masqueraded as one before for her own amusement, although admittedly fooling Americans into thinking you're Welsh is fairly easy, bach.